Tanzania or Bust!

At some point in the last year and a half I started receiving emails at work from an organization called Soles4Souls. To this day I'm not really sure how I got on the distribution list...I assume they either got my email from one of the shoe shows I attended or just from our company in general. I get a ton of emails on a daily basis that I don't even bother to open but for some reason I opened theirs and something caught my eye. They had a program called Travel With Us where people could sign up to go on shoe distribution trips around the world. At the time I believe the choices were Haiti, Peru, and Honduras. I was very interested but the timing wasn't really right for me to do something like that. I continued to look at the emails every time I got one but never got around to doing anything about it....until January.
For those of you that know me you know that I am constantly traveling. My mom and I take a vacation together every year, I travel for work, and I have several friends that live out of town that I am always trying to go see. By January I had not been anywhere since November and after two months of being cooped up in my house because of the awful winter I was itching to get something planned. My mom and I didn't have a destination in mind for our yearly trip and I honestly didn't know where I wanted to go. Then came the email from Soles4Souls.
For the first time Soles4Souls was doing a distribution trip to Tanzania. I have always wanted to go to Africa but I knew that was not a destination I could talk my mom into going nor did I think I really wanted to go there on a vacation. I knew if I ever went it would be through some kind of mission trip. During the long winter I had also been thinking about ways I could give more of my time to those in need. I have been volunteering with Friends of Kids with Cancer for a long time but my main source of giving for them is working at their charity golf tournament every year. I just really wanted to do more so when this email came through I knew I really wanted to do it. Making the decision was easy. Telling my family and friends was the hard part.
Before I approached the subject with anyone I took the weekend to think about it. I didn't tell anyone I was even considering it because I didn't want anyone's enthusiasm or negativity to persuade me into making a decision that wasn't right. But mainly I didn't tell anyone because I didn't want my friends to tell me they wanted to do it too which would result in me waiting around for them to actually decide if they were really going to do it which could result in me missing my opportunity.  So I sat down and really thought about if this was something I could do by myself. I also had to consider the cost and if I had the money to do it.
It just so happened that I had also planned on doing my taxes that same weekend. Once I saw that my refund was going to be sizable and would pay a large part of the trip I was that much closer to making my decision. I also knew that I could pay the rest of it just by staying home on some weekends and not spending my money on going out all the time, something I was more than willing to do. So, I told my mom on that Sunday. Of course she had a lot of questions and was a little hesitant but I had already been emailing with the travel coordinator at Soles4Souls who goes on all the trips and was able to answer all her questions and reassure her that I would be fine. I still think she's nervous but she's definitely come around.
After that I of course posted it on Facebook. I received so many encouraging comments that I knew I had made the right decision. I also received a lot of texts and a lot of questions.  There wasn't as much negativity as I had expected but I was right in guessing that several people would say they wanted to go. Every time someone tells me that they want to come my response is always the same: Come! At that point the subject is either just dropped or there's the standard, "I can't afford it." I know some of the people I have talked to are serious and are looking at doing other trips which is great, but I also know that some people just say it to be saying it. I'm sacrificing things to be able to do this trip. I can't just go out to go out anymore. I would rather put the money I would spend on my bar tab on a night that probably wouldn't be that fun anyway towards my trip. I'm trying not to buy new clothes (even though I went on a spending spree last week!) I'm trying to bring my lunch to work instead of going out every day.  All of these are things I don't mind giving up because in the long run Africa is going to be way more worth it than hanging out at Pin Up on a Friday night seeing the same people and talking about the same things. (I will add that I do have a fundraising page and I have had some incredible people who have donated money which I am very grateful for. I hate asking people for money but I knew some people wanted to contribute so I put it up. Besides, I am always giving people money for things they are doing and buying things from their kids so it can't hurt to ask!)
I do feel bad when people are constantly asking me to go out and I say I can't and they try to make me feel bad about it. Or I feel bad when my friends are all out and I'm at home & then they tell me I missed out on a fun night. It makes me feel like they don't really understand why I'm doing this. It's not that I don't want to hang out, it's just that I have a commitment that I have to take care of first. And on top of the fee for the trip I have to pay for immunizations that insurance doesn't cover, my flight to New York that is not included, items that I will need to take on the trip, spending money so that I can bring things back for everyone, and I am really trying to squeeze buying an ipad in before I go so that I can do blog posts for work and document everything while I'm there (not to mention entertain myself on the 15 hour plane ride.) I'm not trying to complain about any of this because I knew about all of these expenses before I signed up...I'm just saying I get frustrated when everyone makes it seem like I'm just sitting at home because that's where I'd rather be. I just hope they all eventually understand why I have to do things for myself right now.
I know that doing this trip is the right thing for me. People are always shocked when I say I'm going with a group of people I don't know but the honest truth is I would rather it be that way. I feel like I'm going to get more out of the experience by not knowing anyone. I know I will make life long friends and I know my heart is going to break every 5 minutes seeing kids receive shoes for the first time. I have no doubt I'm going to come back with a new outlook on life and that things that seem so important right now will seem so insignificant when I get back. I can't wait to tell the story of my journey and I hope you all will come back and read about it!